Libra and the Need to Be Chosen

Erica Bell

Hey babes, it's Erica Bell—welcome to Zodiac & Chill , where love gets a little messy, drama gets real cosmic, and no zodiac sign escapes a little spotlight, yeah? Alright, so let’s just get into it. Libra—let’s talk about you tonight. Libra’s the sign that, I mean, it really gets its identity from connections. Not just, like, “I want a partner,” but “If someone chooses me, that means I’m pretty, I’m loved, I’m enough.” That’s the Venus effect right there. Venus spins this whole narrative for Libra that worthiness gets measured in who picks you—who makes you their one. And look, it’s not just the stars doing their thing. Society loves to double down, right? Everybody’s out here posting who’s with who, who’s cuffed up, who’s “the chosen girl”—like, the whole Hashtag relationshipgoals production. It gets in your head. I already know some of y’all are like, “Erica, what got into you tonight—why you calling us out?” But really, it's not about dragging Libras for being “pick-me’s” in that cringey way. Listen to me: Libras wanna be picked, sure, but it comes from this core place of wanting deep connection, not shallow approval. They’re saying, “I want to be seen, to be loved, to matter to somebody.” And honestly, can you blame them?

Erica Bell

But here’s the tea—sometimes, that desire gets turned up way too high. The world tells you that being chosen is the prize, the only proof you’re worth anything. That’s a heavy load to carry, right? And the truth is, a lot of us, not just Libras, end up chasing that same feeling in different ways. Still, for Libra, that Venus energy? Addictive. It doesn’t mess around.

Erica Bell

So, how does this whole “need to be chosen” thing actually show up? Libras aren’t problematic—let’s just say it—y’all are programmed. Venus rules you, love drives you, and validation… I mean, that’s almost like medicine sometimes, isn’t it? Just hits different. So yeah, you might catch a Libra swiping on every dating app, hoping for that dopamine rush every time someone matches, shares, double-taps your selfie—whatever. It can look thirsty, but nah, it’s just, like, your wiring.

Erica Bell

Let’s dig into a real example. Janelle—classic Libra vibes. Gorgeous, charismatic, you walk into a room with her and suddenly everybody’s paying attention. Except—here’s the twist—she’s the only one not feeling herself half the time. No matter who picks her, no matter how many compliments, it’s like she still can’t believe it. That’s the shadow of wanting to be chosen, babe: you end up putting somebody else’s taste above your own. I mean, it’s wild!

Erica Bell

That’s why sometimes Libras seem to float—a little bit of a people-pleaser, a little bit afraid to choose themselves. But trust me, all of that comes from this hope that, if you’re selected, it’ll finally mean something about who you are. And sometimes, Libra energy gets so focused on being liked that you lose track of what you even want in the first place. It’s not drama—it’s a pattern. You’re not alone if you feel it.

Erica Bell

Let me say this: Libras, you are not the only sign looking for affirmation. Every sign out there has a soft spot—cancer wants to be needed, Leo wants applause, Capricorn lowkey wants respect. But Libra? Your wants come wrapped up in that ultra-soft, romantic Venus vibe. You truly believe, deep down, that love completes the picture. The whole “you plus me equals us” fantasy is strong for you. And I get it—who doesn’t want that fairy-tale moment every now and then?

Erica Bell

Still, the work isn’t about shaming you for wanting connection or longing to be chosen. Nope. The real shift is in transforming that instinct—taking it out of the world’s hands and putting it back in your own. Because, babe, real value starts when you choose yourself first, when you make your own approval the gold standard. It’s not easy, but when you move beyond just wanting to be the “chosen one,” suddenly the vibe gets way, way more free.

Erica Bell

And, look, every episode I try to drop a little music cue—so tonight, if you’re in that Libra love mood or just feeling all those dreamy vibes, go play something smooth, soulful—maybe that new jam that feels like a candlelit slow dance in your living room. ’Cause music’s the fastest way I know to shift the whole mood and get back to your center.

Erica Bell

Alright, let’s just slow down, sit for a second, and get real. I want you to breathe, I want you to be honest about your questions—the stuff nobody really asks out loud. No front, no filter—just us, astrology, and a little soul work. So, I pulled some of your DMs and these are real. First up: “Why do I feel like I need someone to choose me to feel valuable?” Listen, Venus energy sets you up to think you need romance to matter. But truth? You gotta learn how to sit with yourself first. You’re already chosen by the universe—corny, maybe, but it’s real.

Erica Bell

Next: “I’m a Libra—how do I stop people-pleasing without all the guilt?” Oof, that’s a big one. The guilt comes because you equate harmony with happiness. But peace isn’t about everyone loving you; it’s about you actually loving you. It takes practice, but it’s possible.

Erica Bell

Someone else asked, “Why am I always indecisive in relationships?” Honey, you wanna get it right, every single time. That’s not weakness—that’s you weighing the value of your heart. Just don’t let it paralyze you. If you have to flip a coin every time, think about what you’re afraid you’ll lose, not just what you’ll gain.

Erica Bell

“Am I wrong for wanting someone to choose me first?” You’re never wrong for wanting to matter. Just check if you’re sacrificing yourself to get picked. That’s the line between self-love and self-erasement.

Erica Bell

“How do I rebuild confidence after being overlooked?” Okay, real talk—you gotta start with the small wins. Every time you stand up for your needs, every time you pause before bending to make someone else happy, you build it brick by brick. It’s not overnight. Confidence is like a muscle—you gotta use it to grow it.

Erica Bell

“How do I detach from external validation?” Oof, the million dollar question. You start by giving yourself the validation you wish somebody else would—a compliment in the mirror, celebrating your own milestones, not waiting for the world’s green light. It’s little things, daily.

Erica Bell

Here’s what I want you to walk away with tonight, babe. The need to be chosen is, honestly, just the need to be seen. And you can see yourself first—it counts just as much; actually, it counts more. Validation that starts inside you? Here’s what I want you to walk away with tonight.You don’t have to perform to be loved. You don’t have to be perfect to be chosen. And you don’t have to shrink yourself into a quieter, easier, softer version just to make someone stay.I know how easy it is to get caught in the cycle — especially if Libra energy is heavy in your chart. When you’re wired for connection, you start thinking connection is the measure of your worth. But it’s not.Love doesn’t make you worthy. Being chosen doesn’t make you whole. Closeness isn’t currency.Your worth existed before anybody saw you. It existed before the praise, before the rejection, before the situationships, before the heartbreaks. It existed before anyone ever had the chance to pick you — or pass on you.And here’s the part most people don’t say:You didn’t come here to be chosen. You came here to choose yourself first, so that when love does show up, it finds you anchored, not auditioning.So tonight, if nothing else, remember this:The version of you who bends for others is tired. The version of you who hustles for approval is drained. But the version of you who stands in her own evidence — her own receipts — she is powerful. She is present. She is already enough.You don’t need to chase what naturally aligns. You don’t need to fight for what’s not fighting back. And you don’t need to dim just to be seen.Let the universe choose you the same way you choose peace: freely, naturally, without force.And if no one has told you lately, let me be the one:You are worthy because you exist. You are loved because you breathe. You are enough because you’re you.

Erica Bell

That’s my final thought.And that’s the tea, babe.You’ve been listening to Zodiac & Chill with me, Erica Bell—your weekly dose of signs, situationships, and star-powered truth bombs.Don’t forget to rate, review, and share this episode with the friend who definitely needs to hear it (yes, probably your Sagittarius ex).And hey, the stars don’t lie… but your situationship might.If you love decoding signs through music and mood — my new song “Chosen” — A Libra Love Song is now playing. It’s for the romantics who want to be picked, not pursued.""And for the real zodiac heads… I’m building something magical: the Zodiac & Chill Music Lounge — a mood-based app where signs meet sound. Love songs for Pisces. Rage playlists for Aries. Healing affirmations for Virgos. "🔗 Link in bio to stream “Chosen” 🎶 DM ‘LOUNGE’ for early access to the app